"I have but one candle of life to burn, and I would rather burn it out in a land filled with darkness than in a land flooded with light" -- John Keith Falconer

"People who do not know the Lord ask why in the world we waste our lives as missionaries. They forget that they too are expending their lives ... and when the bubble has burst, they will have nothing of eternal significance to show for the years they have wasted." -- Nate Saint, missionary martyr

I read these quotes the other day and they really struck me. I never had an interest in missions as a kid. I grew up in church but I hardly gave a thought to those missionaries that we gave our tithes to every month. When a missionary couple would come speak at our church I would think, 'that's nice that they are doing all of that, but I want to have a life, I want to have kids and DON'T want to die in some remote jungle far away from everything I love.'

Now I live in Rose Creek Village and missionaries live next door, they teach on Sundays, they are my friends, but I still have a self-preservation in me that keeps the thought of going out far from me. Now that I have kids, I want to keep them safe. Maybe that's ok for now,maybe this is where God wants me to be. I still have a lot to learn. I don't think that God wants everyone to go to a foreign land, there is still much need right here, but I defiantly don't want to waste my years. Nor do I want to burn up my candle where it is not needed. I don't know where I will end up in the future, God is always surprising me, but I will be willing to go where ever he sends me. What else was I created for if not to do his will?